How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
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I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
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Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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