After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
