i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
