...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
my liver is dry heaving
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
