We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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