if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
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