Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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