So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
