omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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