I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
