"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
