I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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