ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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