I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize