you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
