I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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