I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
