when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
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Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
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With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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