I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
