just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
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nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
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I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
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