making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
