it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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