sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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