she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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