Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
