At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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