I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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