i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
