DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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