Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she smelled like a LAN party
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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