either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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