Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I bet he comes in French.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
