We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
