He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize