I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
