That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
