This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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