Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
