Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
