I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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