you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
