I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
