Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
