You're completely useless in the revolution.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
