Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
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I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
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If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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