covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
