Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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