I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You've changed since you got that strap on
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
