Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
