put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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