It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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