I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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