I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
