His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
this just has baby written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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