plz talk dirty to me
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
