One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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