She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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